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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sketch Comedy

I'm thinking of writing some "courtroom drama" comedy sketches.

Scene #1:
The plaintiff and judge superficially appear to be human. The corpse of "Mr. Truth" lies in the defendant's box.

Baliff: The plaintiff is charged with murdering Mr. Truth.
Judge: How do you plead?
Plaintiff: Guilty!
Judge: Good for you!
The judge shoots the corpse of "Mr. Truth".
Judge: Next case:
Baliff: The plaintiff is charged with murdering Mr. Truth.
Judge: How do you plead?
Plaintiff: Guilty!
Judge: Good for you!
The judge shoots the corpse of "Mr. Truth".
Judge: Next case:
Baliff: The plaintiff is charged with murdering Mr. Truth.
Judge: How do you plead?
Plaintiff: Guilty!
Judge: Good for you!
The judge shoots the corpse of "Mr. Truth".
Judge: Next case:
...
This scene repeats multiple "strongly inaccessible cardinal" times (one of them).

If I were a member of the US Secret Service in charge of the mental health industry, I'd change all anti-psychotic and anti-depressant drugs to placebo without telling anyone. If I were trying to do a State-licensed experiment, I'd do it in one unit first, make sure that almost all the staff are Good Evil people (high logical intelligence low emotional intelligence). However, I'd just do it if it were solely up to me.

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Scene #2:

Judge, plaintiff, and defendant are alive this time, with judge and plaintiff superficially human. The defendant "Mr. Truth" is played by John Oliver.

Bailiff: The plaintiff has a responsibility to murder the defendant.
Judge: How do you plead?
Plaintiff: Guilty!
Judge: Good for you! (shoots John Oliver who falls down).
John Oliver (dusts himself off and gets up): If I may
Judge (interrupting): Shut up! I'm not talking to you! (shoots John Oliver again).
John Oliver (dusts himself off and gets up): But
Judge (interrupting): Shut up, asshole! (shoots John Oliver again).
John Oliver (gets up, points at judge): Kill him.
(Judge is now played by a different actor)
Judge (interrupting): Shut up, asshole! (shoots John Oliver again).
John Oliver (gets up, points at judge): Kill him.
(Judge is now played by a different actor)
Judge (interrupting): Shut up, asshole! (shoots John Oliver again).
John Oliver (gets up, points at judge): Kill him.
(Judge is now played by a different actor)
(repeat a bunch of time)
Member of audience thinks to himself "Is it possible that something unusual is happening?"
A nuclear bomb destroys the city.
John Oliver walks off unscathed.

3 comments:

robert30062 said...

What does all of this mean?

Thomas Blair said...

Re: the second sketch.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

Anonymous said...

Not funny.

Your regular posts are much more entertaining.

This Blog Has Moved!

My blog has moved. Check out my new blog at realfreemarket.org.