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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

My Brain is Sore!

Recently, I feel like I have an extra degree of freedom in my brain. I'm noticing all sorts of things I didn't notice before.

If you don't use your muscles much, and then exercise, you feel sore. Similarly, my brain now feels sore when I do certain things. The effect is gradually wearing off. I feel a headache, but one localized to a very specific part of my brain.

Before my outbreak of "mental illness", I had a high degree of logical intelligence, but almost zero emotional intelligence. I was at the extreme end of the "abused productive" personality type. I've gained a lot of emotional intelligence. I'm now able to fully use both halves of my brain. I've had some very weird experiences recently.

For example, Jon Stewart has the parasitic personality type. You don't notice when he's doing his show, because he's reading from a teleprompter and he has people with the "abused productive" personality type writing for him. Someone with the parasitic personality can handle reading from a teleprompter; there's a criticism that Jon Stewart isn't funny without his writers and his teleprompter. Recently, when I watch The Daily Show, the right side of my brain hurts.

As another example, Stephen Colbert has the "abused productive" personality type. When I watch The Colbert Report, the left side of my brain hurts. I can tell that Stephen Colbert has the "abused productive" personality type, because he does a good job of improvising when interviewing guests.

Depending on what I'm doing, a different part of my brain gets sore. For example, once after playing computer games, the left side of my brain was sore. That effect wore off quickly, probably because a computer game is relatively low-stress and I've already spent a lot of time playing computer games.

I noticed other really weird things recently. I got a sore throat, but on further reflection, it wasn't really a fully sore throat. Only the left side of my throat was sore!

Another day, my tongue felt like it was sore, as if I had drank hot soup. However, I didn't eat or drink anything that could have burned my tongue. While brushing my teeth, I noticed that only the right side of my tongue was sore! It seems that, previously I was only able to strongly taste food with the left side of my mouth. Now, it seems to be more equal on both sides! That explains why I was mostly eating on the left side of my mouth. Now, I'm eating more equally with both sides of my mouth.

I have slightly crooked teeth. Even though I had braces, my teeth reverted to their bad position after they were removed. I noticed that they seem to be straightening out now. I figured out what is happening. Previously, I kept my tongue slightly to the left of my mouth. Now, I'm keeping my tongue in the center of my mouth! That's now evenly distributing the pressure, and my teeth are slowly straightening out.

I haven't been blogging much recently. (I've been using queued drafts. My blogging energy is returning.) While writing this post, it's making the right side of my brain sore. That's odd, because I expected it would be the left side.

I wonder if the right/left logical/emotional brain split is entirely due to pro-State brainwashing? If everybody has this defect in their mental state, then everyone assumes that it is "normal", especially doctors and psychiatrists. In this manner, pro-State brainwashing continues. Children learn to have a split brain because they inherit it from their parents. By the time a newborn baby is 1-2 years old, he's already been pro-State brainwashed by his parents. It happens without anyone's conscious knowledge. The parents don't notice, because they also are insane.

Via my "mental illness", I've rebooted my brain. In some ways, I have the mental state of a newborn baby. I still have the memories and physical body of an adult. I'm able to resist the efforts of people around me to re-pro-State brainwash me. I'm able to pretend to be "normal"/"typical" so I can survive. Actually, by just acting naturally, I now seem to be a person who knows what he's doing. Previously, my primary problem was a lack of emotional intelligence.

I should be able to get and keep a wage slave job. It's still tricky, because a lot of wage slave middle managers are threatened by someone too competent. With higher emotional intelligence, I should be able to overcome the obstacles that kept me back previously. I'm going to get a wage slave job for now, while working towards personal physical freedom and agorism. Getting mental/emotional freedom is a prerequisite for physical freedom. The problem now is "How do I share my better mental state with others?"

Also, I haven't investigated this much yet, but I noticed something else weird. I seemed to have the right side of my brain be logical, and the left side be emotional. In women, based on what I've seen so far, they have the right side of the brain be emotional and the left be logical. In other words, the "typical" man is the mirror image of the "typical" woman. However, I assert that "normal" is to be symmetric, experiencing both logic and emotions with both halves of your brain.

I wonder if that explains homosexuality? If you have the "wrong" polarity then you're attracted to people of the same gender. For example, a man with the right side of his brain emotional and the left side logical is the reverse of a "typical" man. This is just a weird theory. By the Strawman Fallacy, you shouldn't discredit the rest of this post or my ideas of you disagree.

My point is that the State isn't just about government. It's also the corrupt nature of productive/parasitic human relationships. That isn't natural; it's a consequence of pro-State brainwashing. It's also about how most people have their emotional mental state not synchronized with their logical mental state. Most/all people have messed up emotions or messed up logic, depending on if they have the "abused productive" or parasitic personality type.

I consider this to be valid evidence that I hopefully won't relapse again. I feel that I've achieved a higher degree of awareness compared to most people. I'm noticing things that I haven't noticed before, and haven't seen described elsewhere. For example, I don't know of any source that explains the nature of productive/parasitic relationships. I feel that I'm more fully using my brain now. The "soreness" in my brain is evidence that I'm exercising parts of my brain that I haven't used much or at all. It's interesting that "exercising my brain" has the same symptoms as a headache. It's a headache that's very localized to a specific part of my brain. I have a sore brain just like I sometimes have sore muscles.

The value of a network is proportional to the square of the number of connections. Previously, I had trouble making connections between logic and emotions. If I'm able to do that properly now, then that means that my mental abilities should have more than doubled.

My "panic attacks" were frustration due to having insufficient emotional intelligence to understand what's going on. I was failing, but didn't understand why. In the process, I've raised my emotional intelligence.

My refusing anti-psychotic drugs, my body's natural healing process has been allowed to occur. I should be strong enough now to not relapse and achieve physical freedom, but I won't be sure for 1-3+ years. If I last 2+ years without another panic attack, that's good evidence that I'm doing better.

I still have a problem because everyone around me is a brainwashed pro-State troll. Now, I should be able to make better progress on helping other people crack their pro-State brainwashing and unplugging them from the Matrix.

Even if you think that this post is silly, then via the Strawman Fallacy, that doesn't mean my other ideas are wrong. Pro-State brainwashing is a very important subject. It isn't just about brainwashing people to believe "Taxation is not theft!" Government is merely a symptom of a much bigger problem. I feel I've made another order of magnitude progress in cracking my pro-State brainwashing. It's hard to describe, because it seems to be a "You have to experience it yourself!" thing.


Thompson said...

It's hard to describe, because it seems to be a "You have to experience it yourself!" thing.Enlightenment is indeed.

You wouldn't happen to live near NYC, would you? I want to meet up with some more agorists, to do some serious short-term planning.

Anonymous said...

I am currently going through this exact experience except I was unable to put it in the words that you have. Sometimes I feel as if I've done brain damage because of the pain. How long did it take you to heal?

FSK said...

It wears off after awhile. It might take 6-24 months, depending on what you've already experienced.

After it being very sharp for a few months, it gradually wore off. It hasn't completely gone for me yet.

A sharp headache might be a symptom that you're cracking your pro-State brainwashing. You're using part of your brain that you never used before.

One important point is to not take anti-psychotic or psychiatric drugs. It will wear off awhile, but it does take some time.

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