Seeing the Fnords

I read about fnords on the Internet. They are mentioned in websites based on Principia Discordia and The Illuminatus Trilogy. The theory is that aliens have planted hidden messages in television and movies. I was discussing this theory with The Giant Evil Computer that Rules the World. The Giant Evil Computer told me to start looking for them.

I started watching television carefully. All of a sudden, I could see the fnords, for real!!! They're actually there! After careful analysis, I realized that no human could possibly be clever enough and evil enough to plant all those fnords so skillfully. I doubt that any of the advertising executives or TV producers are consciously aware of the fnords they're broadcasting. I was looking at, literally, alien mind control technology. I could totally see through it!

The below description is, literally, proof that aliens have brainwashed the entire world!

On CNBC, there are fnords designed to make people uncomfortable about managing their money so that they'll hire a manager to do it for them. When someone is being interviewed to predict the direction of the market, they stutter a lot. The fnord is that it's hard to predict the direction of the market unless you're brilliant, or have inside information on what the Federal Reserve is going to do. When someone is being interviewed to discuss the benefits of government regulation, they always speak clearly. The fnord is that government regulation is always beneficial. No human would be clever enough to invent something like that and actually use it. This is an example of alien mind control technology.

Jim Cramer *DOESN'T* use the "You should feel uncomfortable managing your own money" fnord in his show. That's the reason Mad Money is so popular. Of course, there are other fnords that Jim Cramer uses, but he doesn't use that specific fnord.

When watching an episode of Wheel of Fortune, when someone lands on Bankrupt, Pat Sajak says "That's not fair." If the Wheel is truly random, then it *IS* fair when a player lands on Bankrupt, because that's the rules of the game. The fnord is that, in the real world, people assume that it's bad luck when they are forced into bankruptcy. They aren't smart enough to understand the Compound Interest Paradox.

Would you believe that! The alien overseers are so clever that they have hidden fnords in an episode of Wheel of Fortune!

There are lots of fnords hidden in Deal or no Deal. That's why it's such a popular show!

When watching Deal or no Deal, when the player has a good round and opens only small valued cases, Howie Mandel uses assertive language like "All right!" when talking to the Banker. When the player has a bad round, Howie Mandel uses submissive language like "OK" when talking to the Banker. That's the fnord. People need to know when to use assertive language and when to use passive language.

In case Howie Mandel, or someone who works for him, reads this blog, I have a piece of advice. He should do the OPPOSITE. He should use passive language when the players do well and use assertive language when the player does poorly. People would find that to be be interesting, and nobody would be able to figure out why.

The player is making purely random guesses based on no information. Just like in Wheel of Fortune, Howie Mandel says "It's not fair" when the player opens a large valued case. If the placement of the money in the suitcases is truly random, then it is fair when the player does poorly. The fnord is that, in real life, when something bad happens to them, they're supposed to think it's bad luck. They don't realize that the rules of the economic and political game are stacked against them. In real life, people are making meaningless random guesses, just like in a game of Deal or no Deal.

The players get excited when they accept a deal. Almost always, this deal is for less than the average of the remaining cases. The fnord is that you should accept a less than fair deal, rather than risk being totally screwed over. When Howie Mandel plays out "What would have happened", the offers are ALMOST ALWAYS higher than the fair value. The fnord is "Whatever decision you make, it is wrong." Statistically, the player has only 1 or 2 large valued cases left when they make a deal. It is very likely that the next case opened would have had a small value.

When the player eliminates the last large valued case, their family says "It's OK. We love you. We're just here for the experience." They weren't saying that a few minutes ago, when they expected to win a lot of money. The fnord is that "It's OK" is a submissive phrase that people use to reassure themselves when they've been screwed over. When people have been screwed over, they are supposed to think about love and having a good experience. The fnord is that when people get screwed over, they should think about other things, besides the fact that they have been screwed over.

Again, if Howie Mandel wanted to make his show more interesting, he should reverse his act when the player loses. He should say "Love is nice, but wouldn't you rather have the money!"

I'm going to start keeping a fnord journal and posting it in my blog. It is impossible to be completely convinced of anything. However, I am deeply and incredibly concerned that a group of aliens REALLY have planted hidden messages everywhere in Television. On the other hand, I knew for awhile that something really bad was going on. I finally understand and it's incredibly relaxing.

It has to be aliens! There's no way a group of humans would be clever enough to come up with all those fnords, and also be evil enough to use them. It isn't possible to be that intelligent and that evil at the same time.

Quite literally, from now on, whenever I'm watching television, I can clearly see alien mind control technology in action. It really scared me when I first saw it. I'm now accepting it, and I'm going to start using this technology for my own benefit.

The more creative the writers and actors of the show, the better they are able to channel the alien telepathic influence and produce a show with lots of fnords. You can judge a show's quality by the fnord count per minute.

In case you're wondering, for historic reference, October 1 at 8am was when I could first completely and totally see the fnords and understand them. The Giant Evil Computer That Rules the World revealed their existence to me in a dream.