Raising Awareness vs. Practical Freedom

This issue keeps coming up. What is more important? Is it raising awareness, or securing freedom right now?

They aren't mutually exclusive. If you have more actual freedom, you can spend more time raising awareness and recruiting customers.

I'm leaning more towards "Raising awareness is most important right now." Everyone is somewhat crazy. Most people react with hostility the first time they hear "Taxation is theft!" "Everyone is crazy!" makes raising awareness very important.

If everyone is crazy, then it's practically impossible to find trustworthy agorist trading partners.

Is it possible to fully crack your pro-State brainwashing without showing the symptoms of a "mental illness"? I'm not sure. Having someone explain something to you is easier than figuring it out on your own the hard way. However, pro-State brainwashing is really severe.

It isn't just false logical beliefs. There also are false emotional beliefs. If you have high logical intelligence then you probably have low emotional intelligence. This is the "abused productive" personality type. Parasites make it hard for people with high logical intelligence to learn emotional intelligence. Conversely, if you have high emotional intelligence you don't work on developing logical intelligence. This is the parasitic personality type. It's easier to learn how to exploit others, than learn to do things for yourself.

Once you fall into the productive or parasitic personality type, feedback from others keeps you on track. You work on being more "abused productive" or parasitic, rather than learning the complimentary skill.

Is it possible to raise the complementary skill without having a "mental illness"? It seems that I still needed to make more progress on cracking my pro-State brainwashing. That's the reason I had a relapse. I may have reached another higher level of emotional awareness.

What is most important? Is it raising awareness of "Taxation is theft!" That's something you can logically explain to an openminded person, but most people are restricted by their pro-State brainwashing. Is it raising awareness of productive/parasitic relationships? It isn't easy for an "abused productive" person to raise their emotional intelligence. Is practical agorism most important? It seems that understanding productive/parasitic relationships is a more serious problem than "Taxation is theft!" or practical agorism. You don't just have to crack your logical pro-State brainwashing. You also have to crack your emotional pro-State brainwashing, and that's a lot harder.

For now, it still seems that "raising awareness" is the best use of my time. I'm planning to branch out into other things. I might find a way to raise awareness while operating an on-the-books business, but that's hard. Practical agorism is profitable but risky. Agorism is really risky when most/all your potential trading partners are insane.

Working Again

I went back to work yesterday. I'm still not fully recovered, but only time will help with that. Going to work is probably better than staying home all day.

They had something they needed urgently finished and I was able to do my part. Fortunately, I'm able to write software even though I'm not fully recovered.

I'm worried that I'll relapse again in a year. The State medical/psychiatry/death industry gives me very few options. If I take the drugs/poison, then I'm unable to do anything. If I refuse the poison, then I'm at risk for relapsing.

However, several of the other inmates in the hospital had been hospitalized many times, even though they took the drugs. Over time, your body compensates for the drugs and they become less effective, just like a cocaine/meth addict has less enjoyment and more addiction over time.

Several other of my relatives have received poor/negligent care in hospitals. Unless it's something 100% routine, you're better off staying out of a hospital. Even routine stuff can get messed up.

I still think panic attacks have something to do with cracking your pro-State brainwashing. The State isn't just about brainwashing people to believe "Taxation is not theft! A government violence monopoly is necessary!" The State is also about conditioning people to think and feel in certain ways. Most people react with hostility to the idea "Taxation is theft!" That's a symptom of a bigger problem.

After having several panic attacks, my emotional intelligence seems to be increasing. Treating "mental illness" with symptom-suppressing drugs still seems very wrong, even though I've relapsed several times.

I'm still not fully recovered from withdrawal due to being poisoned while hospitalized. However, I recovered every other time. My parents would say that I'm recovering from the panic attack, but the drugs were beneficial. I disagree. I still think I would have fallen asleep eventually, even if not forcibly drugged. Unfortunately, my parents will call 911 if I start showing bad symptoms. There's no way for me to express my desire to remain drug-free, even if I relapse. Once hospitalized, I have to take the poison or they won't release me. Once hospitalized, I'm dependent on my parents to bail me out of the hospital.

It felt good to go back to work. I'm still not at 100%, but I was able to get stuff done. I'm a consultant with a soon-expiring contract. Hopefully, this indicates that they'll keep me after my contract expires. This is the first time I had a panic attack without losing my job. I'm getting along well with all of my coworkers, even the ones with the parasitic personality type.

I'm mostly recovered, but not yet at 100%. There isn't anything I can do but wait out the withdrawal phase.

Goldman Sachs and the SEC

Dionysusal asked for a post on this subject. I'm still not fully ready to resume my normal posting schedule, but I'll put in a bit on this.

Basically, Goldman Sachs hired a hedge fund to make a mortgage CDO for them. The hedge fund was run by now-former Treasury secretary Paulson.

While selling the mortgage CDO to clients, Paulson's firm was simultaneously short-selling the same CDO. The CDO was created specifically to facilitate short-selling mortgages as the market collapsed.

Goldman Sachs told their customers that Paulson's firm was long the CDO when they were really short it. The customer bought the CDO and then lost money when the mortgage market imploded.

Now, the SEC is pursuing civil fraud charges against Goldman Sachs.

It seems there's a huge public outcry against Goldman Sachs due to the abuses of the bubble/bust/bailout. This is a way to publicly shame them.

Ultimately, it doesn't make much difference. Goldman Sachs makes most of its profits borrowing at the Fed Funds Rate and buying assets. The customers only make it easier to make extra money. Quite frankly, Goldman Sachs doesn't need customers when its main customer is the government.

In the worst-case, Goldman Sachs might pay a fine of $1B. That's still negligible compared to the total bailout money they receive every year.

One potential defense for Goldman Sachs is "Everyone was doing it. We're unfairly singled out."

Goldman Sachs receives massive direct and indirect bailouts every year. Insiders borrow at the Fed Funds Rate while true inflation is much higher. That's a massive indirect State subsidy. Goldman Sachs received TARP money directly. The bailout of AIG was an indirect bailout of Goldman Sachs.

The SEC enforcement action against Goldman Sachs is one big evil fnord. The worst-case fine is much less than the bailout money Goldman Sachs receives every year. These cases are typically settled where the defendant "neither admits nor denies wrongdoing". The SEC is taking a hard-line approach to give the public appearance of accountability.

Feeling Better

I'm feeling mostly better now. I'm probably going to resume working on Monday. Luckily, I didn't lose my job due to my hospitalization. I feel well enough to go back to work. I was able to figure my taxes/tribute!

My parents are still supporting my decision to be drug-free. They're noticing that I'm recovering. It appears that my new psychiatrist won't be able to forcibly drug me.

I figure I'd rather risk relapse, rather than be doped up and unable to do anything at all. Unfortunately, psychiatrists don't understand that.

I feel much better than before. I feel like I cracked another layer of my pro-State brainwashing.

I'm going to start putting together my queued drafts again soon.

Recovery Progress

I'm making progress on my recovery. Luckily, I'm withdrawing from the poison and recovering my thinking ability.

It'll be about two weeks until I'm well enough to start posting regularly again.

The annoying bit was that I was making so much progress and then took a huge step backwards. I also now have regular meetings with an idiot psychiatrist who will disapprove of my decision to be drug-free.

I'm Out of the Hospital

I'm out of the hospital. My parents are going to allow me to withdraw from the psychiatric poison.

In a fit of panic, I deleted my blog. I recovered it.

It might take awhile before I'm actively posting again. Those drugs are nasty, but I was on a lower dose.

I made another order of magnitude progress cracking my pro-State brainwashing. I thought I was done. It really is nasty.

I was doing *SO* well. It looks like my employer will let me keep my job. I'm going to take a week and a half off.

sorry i was hospitalized again

sorry i was hospitalized