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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Working Again

I went back to work yesterday. I'm still not fully recovered, but only time will help with that. Going to work is probably better than staying home all day.

They had something they needed urgently finished and I was able to do my part. Fortunately, I'm able to write software even though I'm not fully recovered.

I'm worried that I'll relapse again in a year. The State medical/psychiatry/death industry gives me very few options. If I take the drugs/poison, then I'm unable to do anything. If I refuse the poison, then I'm at risk for relapsing.

However, several of the other inmates in the hospital had been hospitalized many times, even though they took the drugs. Over time, your body compensates for the drugs and they become less effective, just like a cocaine/meth addict has less enjoyment and more addiction over time.

Several other of my relatives have received poor/negligent care in hospitals. Unless it's something 100% routine, you're better off staying out of a hospital. Even routine stuff can get messed up.

I still think panic attacks have something to do with cracking your pro-State brainwashing. The State isn't just about brainwashing people to believe "Taxation is not theft! A government violence monopoly is necessary!" The State is also about conditioning people to think and feel in certain ways. Most people react with hostility to the idea "Taxation is theft!" That's a symptom of a bigger problem.

After having several panic attacks, my emotional intelligence seems to be increasing. Treating "mental illness" with symptom-suppressing drugs still seems very wrong, even though I've relapsed several times.

I'm still not fully recovered from withdrawal due to being poisoned while hospitalized. However, I recovered every other time. My parents would say that I'm recovering from the panic attack, but the drugs were beneficial. I disagree. I still think I would have fallen asleep eventually, even if not forcibly drugged. Unfortunately, my parents will call 911 if I start showing bad symptoms. There's no way for me to express my desire to remain drug-free, even if I relapse. Once hospitalized, I have to take the poison or they won't release me. Once hospitalized, I'm dependent on my parents to bail me out of the hospital.

It felt good to go back to work. I'm still not at 100%, but I was able to get stuff done. I'm a consultant with a soon-expiring contract. Hopefully, this indicates that they'll keep me after my contract expires. This is the first time I had a panic attack without losing my job. I'm getting along well with all of my coworkers, even the ones with the parasitic personality type.

I'm mostly recovered, but not yet at 100%. There isn't anything I can do but wait out the withdrawal phase.


gilliganscorner said...

I can attest to your claim "cracking your pro-State brainwashing" has something to do with your panic attacks.

I began to experience intense anxiety attacks shortly after beginning that process. It is still ongoing. You are further down that road than me, but nevertheless I am experiencing them from time to time.

It's not easy to realize the Matrix. The universal conditioning palpable in almost everyone I've met. I can see the Skinner box around them now.

Sometimes I wish I could undo it....but once your eyes start to open, they cannot be closed.

I'm glad you seem to be doing better.

Anonymous said...

The UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Ed Balls hatched a plan to tax the dividends of company pension plans in secret. The new tax led to many company pension plans going broke and old people not having any pensions and having to keep on working.

But it also seems that local councils also have their pension plans taxed. As a result of their pension schemes losing money, they had to bail them out with local tax money. In fact now one-quarter of all your council tax goes to pay pensions of ex-council employees.

This means there is less money to spend on repairing the roads, which explains why Britain`s roads now are full of pot-holes.

Government employees get gold-plated pensions. The very top government employees get pensions worth millions when they retire.

There used to be the excuse that government employees get gold-plated pensions because they get paid less during their lifetime than private company employees.

This is not really the case now. Today government employees are the only ones with stable jobs.

It really is the case the government loots and pillages.

The private sector is stripped of its pensions. There is no job stability.

The clowns in government office get good pensions and stable jobs.

Master Doh-San said...

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

In continuation of cracking your pro-state brainwashing, maybe you could check into cracking your pro alopathic medicine brainwashing. You can to a large degree take charge of your own health. Proper nutrition in and cellular waste out. It's a lifestyle change though... The medical industry today is a state granted monopoly.

FSK said...

Anonymous isn't paying attention. I've already said in that post that the "chemical imbalance" theory of mental illness is a mistake. Symptom-suppressing drugs probably do more harm than good most of the time.

I question most mainstream medicine. Unfortunately, the State medical monopoly and AMA/FDA licensing cartel prevent true medical progress.

Anonymous said...

take 5 grams of omega-3 fatty acids per day, look into the research and you will see it is very helpful at preventing relapses. Look for brands with high EPA and DHA!

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