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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Real Meaning of Santa Claus

It's interesting watching the news on Christmas Eve. They say "NORAD is tracking Santa Claus!" and present it as an actual news story. That's so cute! (The previous sentence was sarcastic.)

The joke is that actual "news" stories are presented with the SAME level of honesty as the "Santa Claus is real!" story. The newscaster himself is unaware that the story is the joke! When they say "The Federal Reserve lowered interest rates to stimulate the economy!", that's serious journalism on par with "NORAD is tracking Santa Claus!"

After much research, I've decided that's the *REAL* meaning of the "Santa Claus" story. In other words, don't trust what newscasters or most adults say.



A coworker once presented me with this "proof" that Santa Claus is real. Make two letters, with a stamp and your return address. Address one letter to Santa Claus at the North Pole. Address the other letter to a fictional person at a nonexistent address. Mail them.

The second letter will be returned as undeliverable. The letter addressed to Santa Claus will not be returned as undeliverable.

This is a proof that Santa Claus is real.

The alternative is that the people who work for the post office are participating in a massive conspiracy to provide the illusion that Santa Claus is real. Of course, such a massive highly organized conspiracy does not exist.



The Santa Claus story contains another fnord. Santa Claus is omniscient. He gives rewards to those who obey his orders, and punishes those who disobey him.

The State and Santa Claus are nearly equivalent. By training your children to obey Santa Claus, you are training them to obey the State.

7 comments:

eagledove9 said...

I have a book that criticizes Christmas and Santa Claus ("The Trouble With Christmas"). It said that post office employees were explicitly told NOT to reject letters for Santa Claus. Questioning the idea of Santa Claus or revealing that he's imaginary is something that makes brainwashed adults very, very angry. No joke. They are actually told to keep the letters. If you ask adults why they continue to tell their children that Santa Claus is real, some of the adults might still be able to hold a conversation with you, but others will have such an intense, crazy reaction that you can't even discuss the subject. They freak out about Santa Claus even more than if you question religious ideas about God. I've actually had fights with people about this subject.

Anonymous said...

Just last week there was a story on yahoo news about a temporary teacher (known as a supply teacher here in the UK), told the children she was teaching that 'santa is not real' which caused trauma to children and made parents very angry leading to her losing her job.

Anonymous said...

Funny cow some folks actually are trying to minimize the pains of their kid realizing that Santa was a lie.

In other words, they don't want their kid to learn this most valuable lesson, a lesson that teaches us that everything is a lie.

Ignorance is a bliss... Anyone who knows about the truth can attest to the sadness on knowing it.

Some people choose for their kid to just be a mindless but happy robot.

fritz said...

I had a hard time with the idea when my sons were young. See my father once told me that we are tight, and the most important thing was for neither of us to lie to each other.

I believed him, and trusted that he wouldn't lie to me about anything. We made a mutual non lying pact. OHHHH,,than I found out about good old santa..believe it or not I'm still hurt.My father and I shook hands. And he proved to me how much of a sucker I was to believe in a non lying pact with your father. Than i'm wondering when am I going to be told there is no god, because that must be next.

Now,,lets jump forward 40 years or so. And there I am brain washing my own sons about good old santa..Not because I wanted to,I was under great pressure. From all the grand parents, because they wanted to perpetuate the myth, from the wife who said if I told them the truth early they would go to school and ruin it for the other kids. I never felt good about lying to my sons about something so large. I understand that the idea of some magical being giving presents is some how uplifting to children. But I think the perpetuation of the myth is wrong and flawed.

Its the idea of christmas that should be brought forward. Not how many things you can buy. I almost believe that modern santa claus was developed as a marketing tool for retail markets to prosper from Xmas..Whats else could it represent??

merry christmas to all ..I mean it..

Fritz

Anonymous said...

FSK, yesterday you chastised me and called me a pro-state troll because I pointed out how Google is a Statist tool. So let's see, according to you:

-Santa Claus is a massive pro-government conspiracy, and by going along you are teaching your children to become Statist trolls. AGORIST!

-Google collects inexcusable amounts of information and compromises the bloggers, readers, email users and searchers. STATIST PROPAGANDA!

I am beginning to think you are a mid-level filter troll. That is you are far-out enough to attract those interested in opposing the state, only to bog them down in idiotic drivel such as "santa clause is a communist tool".

You are either disingenuous about the whole thing, or have surprising lapses of reason when it comes to computer technology.

Yes, the press is corrupted by the State, we know it. Santa, global warming, crime, whatever sells the product goes on TV.

How about not beating a dead horse and focusing on some active ways all of us can benefit? How about constructing an anonymous darknet, an encryption scheme that would allow an agorist market to function (that would require you to get off your google-ass and doing something yourself instead of dreaming of becoming financially independent from google adwords)

Yes, I am anonymous and proud of it. Why do you think users with made up names are more legitimate when you belittle my posts?

Santa said...

May-be he thinks that way because users who make up fake names are in fact anonymous, but do not appear as such, meaning that they are one step smarter?

Josh said...

Convenient how NORAD can track Santa all night but not 9/11?

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