This Blog Has Moved!

My blog has moved. Check out my new blog at realfreemarket.org.



Your Ad Here

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

FRE and FNM Business Model Illustrated

Someone said I should attempt more humorous posts. I considered finding two actors to play out this scene and upload it to YouTube.

CEO: I'd like to borrow $1B.
Banker: No problem. Here you go.
CEO (takes out cellphone): We got another round of financing. I'd like to invest $1B on black. (pause) 16 red! Oh well.
CEO (to banker): I'd like to borrow $2B.
Banker: What about the $1B I just lent you?
CEO: We're having liquidity problems.
Banker: No problem. Here you go.
CEO (on cellphone): Let's invest $2B on black this time. (pause) 3 red! Better luck next time.
CEO (to banker): I'd like to borrow $4B.
Banker: Are you sure this is a good idea?
CEO: If you don't lend me another $4B, you're in the **** as much as me.
Banker: That's a good point. Here you go.
CEO (on cellphone): Let's invest another $4B on black. (pause) #$%^! 36 red! Time for more financing.
CEO: I need to borrow another $8B.
Banker: I have to ask you to change your business strategy.
CEO: No problem. Do we have a deal?
Banker: Here's your $8B.
CEO (on cellphone): It's time for another strategy. This time, $8B on red. (pause) 15 black!
CEO: This time it was your fault.
Banker: My apologies, sir. Here's another $16B.
CEO (on cellphone): Let's go back to our core business strategy. $16B on black. (pause) 00!
CEO: Time for another round of financing. This time, I need $32B.
Banker: Here you go.
CEO (on cellphone): $32B on black. (pause) 00 again! Time to raise another $64B!
Banker: It's time for you to overhaul your business model.
CEO: I agree. Where's my $64B?
Banker: Here it is.
CEO (on cellphone): Time for a new business model. Invest $64B on "pass". Snake eyes! Oh well.
CEO: I need another $128B.
Banker: Here's your $128B.
CEO (on cellphone): $128 on "pass". Seven! A winner!
CEO: Here's your $255B back, plus a $100M commission, leaving $900M in profit for me.
Banker: It was a pleasure doing business with you. Same time tomorrow?
CEO: See you tomorrow.
(CEO exits)
Borrower: I'm having trouble paying my mortgage. I lost my job and my adjustable-rate mortgage caused my payment to increase. I need to borrow $300,000 to refinance.
Banker: What? How dare you!? The insolence! Do you think I'm made out of money? GET OUT!
(The borrower is Tasered and dragged out by security guards.)

1 comment:

eagledove9 said...

The CEO's excuses: "liquidity problems"... "this time it was your fault"... LOL

This Blog Has Moved!

My blog has moved. Check out my new blog at realfreemarket.org.