Non-Abusive Dating/Relationship Techniques

By E-Mail, Joey from the Freedom Symposium writes:

Howdy there! Just letting you know that I liked your post on "Most Psychiatrists are Evil!" and have given my public blog-post reply to it here:
http://thefreedomsymposium.blogspot.com/2008/04/re-most-psychatrists-are-evil.html It'd be great if we could have a public exchange on this subject, as I think many people will benefit from it. If not, that's okay, just letting you know of my reply.

This comment deserves its own separate post.

If you have interesting commentary on one of my blog posts, you should write a post on your own blog and send me a link. That's better than trying to cram a big reply into the comments section. This is the first time someone has actually followed that advice.

I'll refer to the abusive techniques by the seduction community as "The Game". I've also heard them referred to as "fast seduction" or "NLP" (neuro-linguistic programming). NLP is the same technique that PR firms use for mass mind control.

"The Game" only works because of pro-State brainwashing. If you weren't the victim of pro-State brainwashing, and someone attempted to use "The Game" on you, you'd say "Go away jerk!" Unfortunately, 99.99%+ of the world's population *ONLY* relate to one another via "The Game".

Due to State brainwashing, all human relationships are master/slave relationships. "The Game" teaches you to be the psychologically dominant person in the relationship. If you are an expert practitioner of "The Game", then your partner is really your slave/opponent. My goal is to relate to other people as equals, and not as master or slave.

"The Game" wouldn't be believable if it were 100% lies. Instead, it contains a carefully calibrated mix of truth and falsehoods. For example, a common piece of advice is "If the women isn't friendly, ditch her and move on to the next." This is good advice. "The Game" only works because everyone is the victim of pro-State brainwashing.

In a human relationship, the person who desires the relationship *MORE* becomes the slave. If A is really attracted to B, while B is only slightly attracted to A, then B is the master and A is the slave.

For example, consider wage slave employment. As an employee, if you get fired you lose your sole source of income, and it's going to take awhile to find a new job. As the employer, you have many employees and can easily hire a replacement. The employee needs the relationship more than the master. Therefore, the employee is always the slave and the employer is the master. The employer has a State-granted monopoly/oligopoly to run his business. In most job markets, the supply of labor is greater than the pool of jobs. In a *FREE* market, an abusive employer would lose their best employees to competitors. In a non-free market, if employers collude to abuse workers, there's no market penalty for inefficiency. The benefit due to fair treatment of workers is far less than the State subsidies large corporations receive. Therefore, most employers treat their workers poorly.

As another example, I know someone who keeps all his savings in a money market account. This means he is giving the government 10%-20% of his savings per year, as they are eroded via inflation. I asked him to invest in stocks. He says "I know inflation is a ripoff, but my wife won't let me buy stocks; she's afraid we'll lose money." He is the slave and his wife is the master. He's unable to make the logically correct argument that, over a 5+ year period, stock investments will almost definitely dramatically outperform a money market investment.

The "neg hit" attitude can be used both positively and negatively. For example, you can "neg hit" a women saying "Your hips are fat". This appeals to her pro-State brainwashing, that her natural body shape is wrong. If you try to explain to a woman "Taxation is theft!", and she doesn't understand, then you *SHOULD* tease/correct her until she understands. Either she will eventually understand, or get frustrated and leave. I've decided that understanding "Taxation is theft!" is now a prerequisite for a woman to seriously date me (of course, she gets a careful explanation, if she's able to pay attention).

I would like to clear it up, as FSK indicated with the title, that not all psychiatrists are like that, or all clinical therapists in general.

I DISAGREE! There's a distinction between "psychiatrists" and "psychotherapist".

A psychiatrist is someone who "solves" patients problems by drugging them into submission. If the only thing you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail. If you told your psychiatrist, "There's a massive conspiracy to enslave the entire world!", then he would put you on abilify or another antipsychotic drug. Go ahead and try it if you don't believe me! (Warning: you may be involuntarily hospitalized if you try this.)

A psychotherapist solves their patients' problems by talking to them. For example, if you explain to your therapist "Taxation is theft!", they probably won't understand. This is less invasive than psychiatrists, but still harmful. If someone starts questioning their pro-State brainwashing, many psychotherapists will attempt to restore the pro-State brainwashing.

It is possible to find an honest psychiatrist or therapist, but that's a statistical anomaly. How can someone be a psychotherapist when they don't understand the massive pro-State brainwashing that is occurring?

Last night I went out dancing (West Coast Swing). Instead of asking people to dance, I merely observed the other people. I decided that I would *NOT* ask anyone else to dance unless they were able to make eye contact with me. Nobody was able to make eye contact.

My current tactic for filtering women is that I look into their eyes and see if they can consciously notice me. Those "pickup guides" suggest verbally saying hello. I've decided that attempting to make eye contact is far better! First, if they don't notice you, you're not bothering them. Second, since you're not talking, it's hard for them to object! Third, other people don't notice what you're doing. Since I started doing this recently, I noticed that 99.9%+ of women are unable to make eye contact.

Most people are, consciously or subconsciously, playing "The Game". Their attitude is "If I express interest in someone else, then I'll be the slave in the relationship and the other person will take advantage of me." Suppose I attempt to make eye contact with someone. There are 4 possibilities:

1. They aren't attracted to me and don't notice me. In that case, just move on. There's nothing unfair about this case.
2. They aren't attracted to me, but do notice me. I don't think this is realistic. If a woman isn't interested/available, I'll get rapidly bored looking at her and she won't notice me.
3. They are attracted to me, but pretend they don't notice me. This woman is following a losing strategy. How can I tell the difference between this and case (1)?
4. They are attracted to me, and do notice me. This is the ideal case. Less than 0.1% of women are capable of doing this.

Case 3 is the interesting point. If you pretend you don't see someone, that body language means "I don't want to talk to you. Go away." If every woman is playing "The Game", then they can validly complain "The only men who approach me are jerks!" If women give the "Stay away!" body language when they see a guy they're attracted to, then *ONLY* jerks will approach them!

At this point, it appears to be important to develop the ability to distinguish between case (1) and case (3). You need to be able to tell the difference between someone who *REALLY* can't see you and someone who's *PRETENDING* to not see you. However, if you approach someone who is pretending to not see you, they you REALLY are being a jerk!

The author of the Freedom Symposium says that the only type of women you'll meet in a bar are jerks. In a bar, every woman is actively playing "The Game" as best they can. If 99.9%+ of people are pro-State trolls, then finding someone decent is a statistical anomaly. After all, you're in a bar! A bar allows you to filter a lot of women simultaneously.

There was another interesting observation when I was out dancing. There was a girl who was giving off the "I am available" body language, but she was there with a date! I got the impression that the girl was really attracted to the guy, but he wasn't very interested in her. This means that the guy was the master and the girl was the slave. She was thinking of breaking up with him, but hasn't actually done it yet. Since she's the slave, she's going to have to be passive-aggressive about the breakup; she'll do things that displease her master, and he'll dump her. He was dancing with other people, and she was sitting bored on the side. I sat next to her and tried to make eye contact with her. She didn't notice me, *BUT* she fell asleep! My theory is that, while you're sleeping, your brain repairs damage that occurs during the day. She didn't consciously notice me, but she did subconsciously notice me. This made her start questioning her relationship, which she couldn't do consciously, so she fell asleep.

There was another girl who was showing off very nice cleavage, the kind people take pictures of and post on the Internet. However, her body language was "I am not available". This makes sense, because she's probably a skilled player of "The Game". She's either going to date someone who's a slightly better Game player than her (and be the slave) or someone who's a slightly worse Game player than her (and be the master). Since she's a highly skilled Game player, her potential partners are themselves highly skilled Game players.

I was trying to give off the "I am available" body language as best I could. *HOWEVER*, I realized that most people misinterpret the "I am available" body language as the "I am weak" body language. Most people are trying to conceal their emotions. Since I wasn't trying to conceal my emotions, that means that I must be weak. Only people who play "The Game" poorly let their partner know they are interested in them! Most people are afraid to show genuine interest in their partner, because then they'll be the slave.

What type of partner should I find? Should it be a very skilled "Game" player, who's frustrated with their mastery over everyone else? Should it be a very unskilled "Game" player, who wants to have a partner but doesn't want to be stuck being a slave all the time? I suspect the latter, but I'll have to look around. I appear to be a very unskilled "Game" player, because I'm trying to be honest. I appear to be a very skilled "Game" player, because I won't let other people take advantage of me.

I like Freedomain's "real time relationships" philosophy. You should try to be as honest as possible with the people around you. This means that dishonest people will be disgusted by you and stay away. However, mostly honest people can be outright frightened. When they see someone who's really honest, they might start to realize their pro-State brainwashing, which they don't want to know. It's very tough, because nearly everyone is a pro-State troll! If you try to be as honest as possible, most other people can't stand that! They don't want their illusions shattered!

I was waiting in line at the supermarket. They have those TV screens that broadcast propaganda while you're waiting at the checkout line. I saw a really interesting fnord. It said "Children should be trained to not react/interact in the heat of the moment." The "heat of the moment" is the *BEST* time to interact, because you're immediately correcting wrong behavior. The propaganda was *REALLY* saying "Children should be trained to not interact properly!"

I had to figure out all this stuff on my own, alone. Would it be easier to explain it to someone else, if I were helping them? It was very traumatic for me to break my pro-State brainwashing (and I don't know if I'm done yet). Other people might subconsciously realize that I would try to break their pro-State brainwashing, and they'd want to stay away from me. They would experience a deep terror, without realizing what's going on.

I'm very interested in the "Do Aliens Exist?" hypothesis. If I were an alien xenobiologist/xenosociologist, I'd be very interested in studying humans. How did humans become so messed up that people are usually expressing the emotions *OPPOSITE* of what they're actually feeling? Aliens aren't human themselves, so they need the active assistance of humans to help them figure out what's going on. Sometimes, the "voices in my head" are me thinking, but sometimes it seems like information is coming from an outside source. Have I figured this out due to careful studying, or is someone secretly helping me? How can I ever know?

I had another interesting experience. I saw a policeman, and tried to make eye contact with him. He made eye contract briefly, but then moved on. There wasn't any intelligence there. He seemed like a bot running a script. His program included "FSK made eye contact with me. Therefore, FSK is not dangerous. Forget about him and move on."

Television is another cause of the problem. Many people look to TV as their model for human interaction. TV teaches verbal communication, but TV cannot teach nonverbal communication. TV means that most people are crippled when it comes to nonverbal communication. School pro-State brainwashing also plays a part, but you can't ignore the effect of TV.

I like my current strategy of "attempt to make eye contact with people, and don't say anything unless/until they can return eye contact". I've only started doing this recently, so I'll see how it goes. Is it safe for me to attempt to relate to other people honestly? Hopefully yes, because if someone starts being abusive, I'll probably object.